The Power of No
Greetings By Kayleigh Community!
Today, I'm delving into a topic that's near and dear to many of our hearts: gracefully saying no, especially if like me - you can tend to have people pleaser tendancies. As makeup artists and creative entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves saying "yes" to everything that comes our way, unpaid work, student test shoots, the client that pushes our boundaries, the extra bridesmaid when we are already over the limit. Today, I want to shed light on how we can confidently decline opportunities without any lingering guilt, as a recovering people pleaser myself! It's all about paving the way to our best "yeses" while empowering ourselves to decline graciously without guilt!
Saying yes to every opportunity isn't a sustainable approach. In fact, it can lead us to inadvertently say no to vital elements like rest, spending time with our family, or just being at peace! In the early stages of my business, I felt obligated to say yes to almost everything that appeared in my inbox. Wanna hear some ridiculous things I said yes to?
The 10pm client who I am convinced was going to kidnap me. Story here. For real, I think I almost got murdered!
The 5 day unpaid film, which was complete hell and I didn’t even want to go into film.
The bridal styled shoot that was SO not my ideal client.
Many, many, many test shoots that did nothing for me.
So many Sundays spent with clients that were underpaying me!
All of this led to me being incredibly burnt out, priorisitng the wrong things and often, being unhappy with my career and questioning whether it was for me. For me, saying yes still happens but I implemented a few boundaries that empowered me and lowered my guilt when it came to saying no. These things looked like:
Starting to say no is like a habit and a muscle. It gets stronger the more you do it. Start saying no to smaller things first, easy things. And realise, it's not actually that bad. Nobody hates you and generally it feels pretty darn empowering.
Explain Your Why: When declining an opportunity, offer a brief explanation for your decision. People appreciate transparency, and it helps them understand your perspective a bit more. For me, when free shoots come my way now, I thank them so much for the opportunity and explain my portfolio is in a great place! I also then provide guidance on where they could perhaps find an artist that would love the opportunity.
Don’t say yes straight away. If face to face, use an excuse like you need to check something at home before offering an answer. Give yourself time before answering that email and more importantly realign yourself with your bigger goals. Does this opportunity align with them? Ask yourself do you have emotional and mental capacity to take this on? What are you giving up by doing so?
Have your boundaries written down, and consult them before giving an answer. If someone has asked if you are available for makeup at 8pm and generally you stop work at 6pm to spend time with your family, communicate these opening times. You established boundaries to keep yourself happy and safe, so stick to them rigidly and lean on them!
Saying no is a powerful act of self-preservation, empowerment and focus. It's about cherishing what you love, valuing your time, and guiding others toward a different but helpful direction. No will start to feel a little easier the more you do it, as I said its a muscle. It’s a powerful word and sometimes requires a mindset shift. People assume by saying no, they will lose something - but switch that to thinking about what you gain!
Stay fabulous and empowered in your journey!
